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[06 Aug 2005|10:03pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Hey fellow poets,
Just got back from a 2 week trip to the east coast just in case anyone wondered where I was. While out there I came across some great poetry books even one to help write and understand it better, so for the next few weeks in my spare time that's all I'll be doing, reading up on my skills, maybe I'll fit in a few poems here and there. If I do post they may seem different than my usual style, lol. Also I would like everyone to know I entered a poetry contest earlier this summer and I just recently found out I qualified for the semifinals, with the possibility of winning a 1000 dollar grand prize or even a 10000 dollar prize after that, I dont know the specifics. Wish me luck!!


(1 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

~*A Poem To Quite The Silence*~ [18 Jul 2005|11:30am]

[ mood | *Thoughtful* ]

Grant me an old man's frenzy,
Myself must I remake
Till I am Timon and Lear
Or that William Blake
Who beat upon the wall
Till Truth obeyed his call;

A mind Michael Angelo knew
That can pierce the clouds,
Or inspired by frenzy
Shake the dead in their shrouds;
Forgotten else by mankind,
An old man's eagle mind.

- William Butler Yeats, "from An Acre Of Grass "


Find all the right words at Quoteland.com!

I especially loved "Who beat upon the wall
Till Truth obeyed his call;"
"Forgotten else by mankind,
An old man's eagle mind."

What was your favorite part or did you take from this poem?

( In Darkness )

Feelings [13 Jul 2005|12:25pm]

[ mood | indescribable ]

What's this feeling
Haven't felt it before
Started out as a crush
But has become so much more
The way you make me feel
It is a feeling that is unreal
Like butterflies in my stomach
When I talk to you

Learning about you
And doing things for you
Has made me realize
That this could be true

Hiding in darkness
Masking my emotions
Except when I talk to you
I can tell you anything

Like turning on the light
Can't be depressed
Or what I'm not
Just what I am, which is me

I typed this last night for a special someone, I was happy for one thing cuz she helped me get over my writer's block, lol.

(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

"Still I Rise" [11 Jul 2005|06:39pm]

[ mood | ~~Infuriated~~ ]

Just recently I have had a very traumatic experience happen to me!!!
Of course I am saddened & on a gloomy, dark path I travel @ the moment feeling my way through the darkness, not too sure were I am heading! I am so confused & angered by the certainty of pain I will feel when I rise in the morning! I know that it will not go on forever BUT that statement does not hold my hand today! It does not confort me as it has in the past, b/c in the past it has let me down!!! I have been done dirty by those above me & I know that I shall rise from the ashes of pain & suffering BUT right now, today, I feel as if I am NO one special! I feel today as if I have not made a difference in the lives of others as I have always thrieved on in my profession & in my family & friend's lives, yet I know that this is just a phase that may carry on involentarily as long as it wishes! I just want the one thing that sustained me in my life & felt as if it were my second wind back!!! I can only hope & pray that it won't be long before I rise again out of this gloom!!! Although I know that this poem holds another meaning for Miss Maya It holds another for me as well! We as human beings tied down to our lives, or jobs, or chores & errands are all slaves, Our ancestors also worked hard to have a life, did my Grandmother ever feel this way, did she cry amidst her beautiful eyes??? Did her mother feel as I do now, did she ever show her pain to others??? Wilst such things were not always spoken of by women, it was taboo, women had to play the roll of the house wife & a good servant to her husband & the church!!! In reality we are all slaves to our duties & insecurities!!!
I hope that you enjoy & respect this poem as I do now, as it comforts me in my pain!

"Still I Rise"
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.


( In Darkness )

~Close Our Eyes~ [08 Jul 2005|01:24pm]

[ mood | ~~~Tired~~~ ]

I did not write this BUT I liked it so much when I read it & right now I really wish that I could close my eyes & put away this anxiety for a few hours! BUT no, things to do, place to go, can not go back to sleep!!!

"The best things in life are unseen,
thats why we close our eyes
when we...
*CRY &

( In Darkness )

~*the self, the soul*~ [29 Jun 2005|05:06pm]

[ mood | *MoodSwings Can Be a Fun Ride* ]

I know its been awhile since I made my own Post! Its been quite hectic here! All though I always stop by to comment on others as often as I can!!!~ :D

This one is short & sweet! I wrote it on a spere of the moment while Posting my introduction to one of my other communities & thought that you would all appreciate it!

I love the consept of sharing
the self,
the soul!!!
I think that no word is sacred
unless you cherish it w/ every breath!
& Consider your thoughts before you speak!
I truly believe
that secrets are kept by the guilty
& shared by the confident!


( In Darkness )

"Let Me" [24 Jun 2005|06:25pm]

[ mood | creative ]

Let me speak to your eyes,
when you choose not to hear
Let me share all my thoughts,
as they now do appear
Let me speak to your soul,
now your feelings are chilled
Let me show you my love,
by the gentlest of wills
Let me speak to your lips,
for I feel in despair
Let me make you feel loved,
as I now draw you near
Let me coax you from silence,
by my devotion pursuit
Let my soul speak to yours,
though your tongue remains mute
Let my heart touch your heart,
as I yearn for your sound
Echo by echo....
touch and surround.

Through my blood, my skin
my muscle and bone
I’d sacrifice all,
though my life were undone
Ask and it yours for,
my love is so true
I would lay down my life,
if you needed me to
For life has no meaning,
unless you are near
The sun does not shine,
the sky will not clear
No purpose to life,
only dark cloudy skies
Merely torment and anguish,
called life in disguise
Let my death replace yours,
as I yearn for your sound
Echo by echo....
touch and surround.....

(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[24 Jun 2005|12:59pm]

[ mood | peaceful ]

"this is Anthony nowicki, just on charlies lil thingy for right now because my computers down, and its just bein gay, so i just wanted to say i would appreciate if you would check out my poetry at www.livejournal.com/users/god4giveme if do dont thats cool too, i just think you all would really like it, im planning on commin to this thing soon, just when i get my comp up, but till then, have fun and read my stuff, you can comment if you want but i probly wont get the comments because my comps down, and i got to go buy a new one, but ok im dont talkin. ill tty all later, buh bye


Never was.... Never will be...

(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

more poems [22 Jun 2005|01:08am]

[ mood | lonely ]

Everything is complicated, nothing stays the same.
Nothing's ever simple.
Ideas, thoughts images, come flooding through my brain.
So much fucking drama, like a daytime T.V. show.
Someone's always crying, tears falling from the wrist.
Someone's always dying, or wishing they could vanish.
There's always someone hurting, deep inside, somewhere.
And mixed with all the pain I feel, it gets too much to bear.
I only want you happy.
I guess it's just to much,
To take all your pain inside of me.
It would all be worthwhile, just to see you laugh, and just to hear you smile.

My own figment-
Do you know me? really know me?
Can you?
Can you look at me unblinded, unfettered my this miserable mass you call a society?
Unseen, unheard, invisible to you.
Open your mouth, pull out your eyes, you're senseless now, to all the lies.
Everything's mechcanical, and everything's a mess.
You can see me, I don't truely exist,
I am a figment of my own imagination.

Pale faces, silent breaths.
Dreaming eyes, delicate forms.
Are they angels or devils?
Maybe just ghosts.
Perhaps they belong to Death herself.
Living in her percious, pitiless eternity of solitude.
Living in shadows, wailing in silent secrecy.

I'm sorry-
I'm sorry I'm a failure, always falling down
I'm sorry I'm a fuck-up, laying broken on the ground
I'm sorry that I lost you, it tears me up inside
I'm sorry that I hurt, but you hurt me just as bad
I'm sory I'm not good enough, to never make you sad
I'm sorry that I've lied, I really never meant to
I'm sorry that I'm so messed up, you helped me come around
I'm sorry I made you worry, when I was bleeding on the ground
I'm sorry we aren't together, tears dwell behind my eyes
I'm sorry that I'm sorry
I'm sorry, and I love you.

Only belivers in death will die, living in delirium, dreams, and dispair.
Cornered in your caress, crying silent tears of cyanide.

let me know what you think....

(3 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[22 Jun 2005|02:20am]

I've Returned

     I gave this poem to my best friend Melissa on her birthday last year. She was ecstatic, and I suppose I can understand why. By the way, "Melissa" means "Honeybee," so that's where that came from.

Ode & Oath to a Friend

A figure so strong, a smile so sweet
A presence so pure, incapable of deceit.
A face so radiant, with eyes London blue
..are but a handful of phrases, my praises, of you.

With hair long and dark, you stand firm and tall
But it’s truly who you are that I admire most of all.
You are honest and forward, forthright and true
The corruption of pretense has not tainted you.

How I wish I could say this for others abound
Yet the difference is stark, it’s blunt and profound.
You say what you mean, and you mean what you say
To know someone so great, I’m thankful each day.

And to think now that all this began long ago
A bet, and a dance, how was I to know…
…what would come of that night, how was I to see…
…how my soul would be lifted, and my heart would be freed?!

All of this happened when over you came
And asked me to dance, oh I’ve never been the same!
Even then I could see what a wonder you are!
A God-given gift, from the heavens, a star!

It’s been almost two years now since that splendid night
And the meaning of our friendship has been anything but slight.
We’ve been there for each other whenever we can
Always willing to listen, and to offer a hand.

I am grateful to you for all that you’ve done
For listening, and understanding; for you’re the only one…
…though merely in friendship, I say with all my heart:
I would choose not to live, over living apart.

Though times may be hard, and your dreams may seem far
You must never lose sight of the wonder you are!
You must never give in to the pressures abroad
One day you’ll be great, and the masses will applaud!

And remember this always, you must never forget:
I’ll be right there beside you, from sunrise to sunset.
So if ever you need council, you need only come to me
I’ll always hear you out; oh Melissa…Honeybee.
(4 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

Poems [21 Jun 2005|09:38pm]

[ mood | lonely ]

here are some poems I wrote in a class at school....hope you like them...

There are shadows in my soul,
fighting, trying to gain my control.
Suddenly, when I wake screaming,
I realize, I was only dreaming

You don't want to get out of bed.
Can't, won't. Why?
To awake again in the cold harsh world.
Realization hits, as weariness slowly drips away.
All alone, forlorn, forgotten.
Close your eyes and return to him.
Return to the king, in the land of dreams.
Whatever he wishes is yours, for a time.
The dream lord.
His wishes, his dreams, your reality.
As long as you sleep, slumber alone,
the lord of the dreaming sits at his throne.
Watching, waiting.
You must stay in his arms, lest he cast you to Hell.
Lord of the dreaming, of the nightmare realms.

(If you have never read Niel Gaiman's "sandman" this probably won't make too much sense, but it still sounds kinda neat.)


living in death, dealing in dreams.
Precious eternity hangs, alongside the moon.
The moon hanging, up so high.
Like you, or your friend, perhaps.
Hung themselves, or sliced their delicate wrists.
Wailing in secrey and solitude.
Pale starlight shines, pitiless on delicate faces.
Faces whose breath is lost.
Going numb, slipping away.
To be an angel, a ghost, a devil.
Sitting at the side of Lucifer.
See this reality.
Watching and waiting, and burning in Hell.
Wondering, regretting, only one thing.
Your suicide.
Condemned to suffer, tormented in Hell.
Crying and waiting, sobbing and hating.
An eternity to wish, for only five more minutes alive.

In my heart-
This is in my heart, see it through my eyes.
Cheeks stained red from tears of blood.
The body decays, dying from the inside.
Your words are acid, burning through layers of flesh.
I pull free a knife, buried in my chest.
Yet another appears, digging deeper.
Blood-splattered faces, and tear-stained souls.
Look beyond a pretty face.
See through my eyes, who only understand.
Look at my heart, this is in it.
Because of him, though his words are only loving, and his touch is only kind.
When you see into my heart, understand, he causes all this pain,
only by not being there.

(I'll post more later)

(3 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

because charlie wants me to.. [20 Jun 2005|11:12am]

[ mood | hoot hoot ]


all alone
in this big old house
the wind begins to howl

i shiver and shriek
goosebumbs on my arms
I think i heard an owl

What am i to do
on this cold
and lonesome night

"hoot hoot!"
says the owl
"don't be so a fright"

"a talking owl?"
I said
"i must be going mad.."

"not madness, no no"
Said the owl
"that you already had"

Out of that big old house
I ran,
and ran

Far and fast,
i ran
running was my plan

(6 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[19 Jun 2005|07:21pm]

[ mood | indescribable ]

Blocking me out
Won't let me in
As hard as I try
Failing every time

Stubborn you are
Won't let me help
As you cower in darkness
Hiding from it all

Aware that you are on the edge
Ready to crack
Need to find some way
Before you can't come back

Worse I can see you get
Worrying me to death
As you segregate yourself
And push your life's end

Seeing the inevitable coming near
Knowing there isn't much time
To get your life together and
Stop your idiocy

Coming to talk to you
Hoping I'm not too late
When you don't answer me
My heart starts to break

Rushing to you room
Millions of thoughts in my mind
As I find you on the floor
Thinking God don't let it be

Picking your body up
Heavy in my arms
Weeping to myself
Seeing your hollow shell

Thinking hell froze over
Ready to join you in slumber
As you come to from eternal bliss
To see how much I cared

Heart skips a beat
To see your smiling face
Knowing I'll never let go
From you in my grasp

Sorry, been busy lately, meant to post this one about a week and a half ago. Still not perfect, so any suggestions would be perfect. Thanks

(3 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[13 Jun 2005|12:18pm]

[ mood | dunno ]

Hell~ The burning pain engulfs me.
Flame licks, caresses my twisting melting flesh.
The fire drones loudly with a silent roar.
My body, my spirit, my soul are devoured by the flaming tongues.
The flames jump, dance, leap. Climbing higher, burning brighter.
Scorching my scalding flesh. The skin blackens, peels, breaks, tears.
Escape, escape, my only coherent thought.
Over and over, again and again, I fail, and only now do I realize.
This is Hell , and Hell is for but eternity.

Needing~ He is the one who fills my mind, and he is the one who cleaves my heart. Longing, wanting, needing him. No, I cannot, will not need anything, anyone. And yet I do. I am filled with pain and hate, love and yearning, he cares not for me. Why he can throw my soul into such turmoil and anguish, I know not. Him, the one I fear and love, the one I despise, yet love. He is that one, yet he knows and cares not.

(3 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[08 Jun 2005|12:19pm]

[ mood | none ]

Drowning~ Stone cold fingers holding my neck in a death grip, holding me under the surface of the icy black waters. Panicking, I make a vain attempt to scream, my life-starved lungs gasping desperately, but receiving only the burning cold water for their efforts. I can feel the frozen water fill my lungs, slowing my beating heart. My lungs expand as if I drew breath, but no, the water’s deathly silence fills my lungs, nose, throat, and chest. Slowly, so slowly, yet seemingly momentarily, my lungs fill to capacity, now past, my vision swimming, how can water this cold still be liquid? My lungs burst, obliviating my still-beating heart within my chest. The brittle fingers release their hold on my now still and silent figure. The laughing river sweeps my motionless corpse into my eternal black watery depths of a grave.

Forlorn~ As a creature of the night, blood is life or death. Rich, steaming, dripping, flowing from a mortal neck. Livid wounds torn in tender flesh, leaving a deadly reminder if my inhuman fangs. Ripping, tearing, tenderly, gently, I drain the warm life giving blood from them. I use them all, then leave their empty broken corpses crumpled to the frozen ground, blood still oozing. Left to the forlorn darkness of the night, left dead or dying to the forlorn darkness of the night.

To Cut~ The razor sharp point of the knife burrows deeper into my flesh, blood wells, filling the cut, then running, dripping down my arm. My tongue scours the blood from my skin, the warm metallic taste saturates my senses. The knife digs deeper, deeper. Pain is the only escape. To cut is to reach down and bring feeling to my troubled, hardened soul. With perfect precision, the knife jumps and gouges deep into an unmarred territory of flesh. I smile, knowing that through this pain I can reach the unreachable, I can reach emotion, feeling deep inside of me.

(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

*~*Heaven In His Arms*~* [08 Jun 2005|11:01am]

[ mood | ~*Comtemplating Life*~ ]

This is a poem inspired by a friend who need a poem for a college project & asked me to write one for her! It took me like two weeks to finally break out of my little writer's box & this is the end product!!!~
It is about the signifant other in our lives!
However you can find Heaven in the arms of a parent, a friend, a sibling! As long as you find peace w/ it!!!~


*~*Heaven In His Arms*~*
LOVE: Love-Unconditional by the Man who chose YOU & not just someone who has to, {Love in a box?, I think not!}
Now this is The way to true happiness, When YOU can honestly say... "YOU owned a moment in time that was truly one of a kind.

CONTENTMENT: YOU have now reached lifes little perfections.
However it is even more Powerful when YOU can say that YOU owned many moments in Life like it.

HAPPINESS: It is when you have that moment everyday for the rest of Your LIFE that YOU can go as far as to say YOU have made it to Your ultimate destination. BUT remember that Life is not the Destination, Heaven is Home, & in your lovers Arms YOU have found your way there.

INSECURITY: If YOU are looking for something bigger or better or have to force your lover to say such things to YOU by asking small small questions like "Am I Beautiful" or "Do you really Love ME?" Than YOU have not only jumped, skipped & breezed passed that moment but YOU may just have Lost that Moment to Time itself forever.


( In Darkness )

[07 Jun 2005|12:27pm]

[ mood | guess... ]

False Reflection~
I look in the mirror, I see me.
but I see a stranger.
Who is this, this twisted evil being?
This reflection isn't me, not the person I should be, this must be false, a false reflection.
Like the carnivals in the carefree innocent days of my youth, long gone.
No more a child, no more happy times.
Death, anger, pain, hate, that is now.
Yes, this must be a false, trick mirror.
For this image holds no meaning.
Reflecting my twisted tortured soul.
Wrought with anguish and heartbreak.
I must see through the deception.
I know who I am, yet I cannot see it, feel it, nor reach it.
I speak an unknown language, I try to express me to the blind and deaf?
Can I?
Can they comprehend my choices, my real self, me?
What do others see?
Can they see through this false reflection, or do they see the false me, the false reflection?

(3 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[07 Jun 2005|12:24pm]

[ mood | nothing ]

Your Heart~ Falling, falling faster, falling slower, falling farther, falling closer. Dropping, spiraling, plummeting, plunging deep into your soul, lost in the depths of your burning, tender eyes. I caress your soul with my gaze, you return, my stare, steady, strong. Feeling love, hate, pain, fear, all in one breathless moment as I look into your eyes. Then lost, lost in a single blink. A light, brief glimpse of love, happiness, now lost. For your heart, your gaze, your eyes held no feeling. Nothing, nothing for me, nothing for my love.

Vampyric Temptations~ The lust for blood, the need to bite. The gnawing ache climbs to an electrifying intensity. Blood, flowing, steaming, dripping from deep within the hidden contours of the body. The hunger grows, intensifying my blood lust. Needing, wanting, hating the powerful drive in my soul. Out of reach, but always there, the hunger drives us mad. Yearning, longing, needing; needing to sink my gleaming fangs into a pulsing vein and quench my ever present thirst. Out at night, hiding in shadows, we come out to fulfill our needs, our vampryic temptations.

Morbid beauty~ Tarry not death, come on swift wing. I cannot endure this painless torture for a time past eternity. I burn with a cold, aching fire, twisting in silent perfect agony. The morbid beauty of life begins to show. I can see the reality, our world is morbidity in itself. I suffer, sinking, burning, drowning, a hopeless life, a hopeless world with a hopeless purpose, there is no purpose.
(this was one of the first i ever wrote and kept)

(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

Place Of My Dreams [07 Jun 2005|11:43am]

Yet another Melissa poem; this one was an assignment in my nineth grade English class: we had to close our eyes and imagine the ending to a prompt. This prompt was that we had taken a bus ride to a secluded area. This poem has more meaning now because Melissa is a year older than me, so now that she has graduated high school, it will be very hard for us to see one another. I was quite proud of my imagery in this poem, so here it is:

I saw but a path before me
It led to a fragrant paradise

Near sunset
Pink clouds in a darkening blue sky
View from a high point
Ringed everywhere but to the north by trees
Glimpses of distant mountains through the gap
A large clearing
Rolling green hills
Going downward toward a large pond at the base
A large white-and-brick house overlooks the pond from the northwest
Everything is well kept, grass freshly mowed, flowers in gardens, flowering trees
A gazebo is near the pond, natural steps (some of the hillside, some of rock outcroppings) lead downward
The beautiful evening sky is reflected in the pond
The clouds are sparse, the brightest stars begin to come out
I come upon my best friend there
She seems to come to me as if I dreamed her there
I know in my heart that I had wanted her there, even if I had come alone
Birds chirp in the distant trees, though the sound seems somehow subdued
There is no wind, the evening is warm, but not humid
She has eyes of London blue, a beautiful smile, long two-tone hair
Both reddish brown and darker brown
We hug in greeting, we smile, and we take the path to the gazebo
We sit on one of the stone benches within, purest white, and look out upon the pond
I tell her that I must be dreaming, this place is too beautiful
And the fact that she is there is what is really dream-like
Lights begin to burn in the house
Birds fly overhead
The clearing is perhaps a mile wide
The elevation changes are severe, perhaps several hundred feet, graduated by the hills
My friend tells me of her ventures and how she came there
I tell her of mine
We simply look at the surrounding beauty
The pure white of the stone gazebo
In contrast with the verdant green of the grass and shrubbery
The crescent moon casts its reflection on the surface of the water
The scent of wildflowers sifts gently through the air
We look upon the great stone path to the house
This is headed by a great stonstairway, flanked by stone walls, and at the top, a great iron gate
We stay there for a long while, conversing comfortably
We decide to leave and walk about the perimeter of the pond
The sky darkens further, and we catch glimpses through the trees of a grand sunset
The air becomes colder, we tremble at this change
Yet we carry on, exploring this lush paradise in the dying light of twilight
And finally, as the last wink of blue fades to black, we know we must part.

I promised that I would see her again, very soon if possible
She responded with a similar statement
We stopped to embrace for a long time, then turned our separate ways
Guided only by starlight and moonlight, we found our separate paths
Mine was dark and ominous
And as I emerged on the other side, I didn't look back for awhile
Until I was perhaps a hundred paces away
The path had disappeared, swallowed by the trees, never to be traveled by me again.
(2 Poets Hiding In Darkness )

[06 Jun 2005|08:56pm]

just a simple stand
and walkaway
light in the middle
after nothing else
silence, but not forever
something screams inside
waking up again
no shadows, no ghost, nothing
realize if you had change
but nothing cames at the end
( In Darkness )

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